Last Sunday, the Clemson trumpet board unanimously voted for the approval of renovations of campus locations that are currently under construction.
Current projects are completed in accordance with their current designs. They are then torn down and replaced by new construction zones, which are still closed for students and faculties until the latest renovation work is completed.
“Originally we wanted to start over, but the board decided that it was for everyone who would build up their time and effort to rebuild our campus so as not to see the fruits of their work,” said Kimmay B. Milkherson, chairman of the Board of Trumpets, Kimmay B. Milkherson in a statement published on Sunday.
The board also gave a preliminary timeline and a plan for which renovation work would be carried out after completion of the construction.
Immediately after his construction, the Johnstone Hall is torn down and the entire building is reconstructed exactly equally and only moved four feet to the left.
“We believe that many buildings on campus would improve if they were slightly shifted to the left,” said Clemson's Moving things a little in a press release. “Johnstone Hall will act as proof of the concept.”
“I will be honest. I don't understand why they are getting to us and then tearing everything off,” Bob Dee Boulder told the kitten. Boulder's Stakbrix Incorporated company was commissioned to monitor the renovation work. “But at the end of the day we are paid for hours. So if you want to stop us, that's okay for me.”
In addition, the high heaps under construction installs a water complaint with building heights so that the students can descend more efficiently to ground level on the upper floors. Clemson has not stated how to plan water damage to textbooks and personal effects of the students.
The new visitor center will contain a 20 foot concrete wall and a moat to prevent all the actual visitors from entering. This strategy is expected to significantly reduce maintenance costs. The only entrance point is an obstacle course in the “Wipeout” style, which leads to a permanently closed side door.
After refilling, the reflection pond is finally drained again and transformed into Clemson's entry for the “largest sandbox in the world in the world” of the Guinness Book of World Records. Students have to bring their own plastic shovels, buckets and toy truck to play in the sandpit.
“Clemson represent these plans in a courageous new direction,” said President Jiminy Clemson during a press release and added that the university also strives for a second Guinness World Record: “Most people molested in an academic year.”
This satirical article is part of the Tiger April Fools, The Kitten. This story was written for comedic purposes and has no verifiable truth.